Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Has-Beens on the (Old) Block

I'm the first to preach that music writers should leave the auditory art form to the ears of the beholder and simply provide context, but what the old, newly reunited New Kids on the Block are offering up is just too good to pass up

Now look, I'm a two-song (max) closet Kids sympathizer. I want them to succeed as much as the next thirtysomething gal who was teenboppin' back in the Kids' heyday. But the stunt they're pulling is just... Well, what's the technical term? Oh yeah, ick!

So here we are in 2008. The Kids are back together and all growns up. Their girlie-girl demographic who were weezing, crying, screeching for them are all pushing 30 now. It would seem that their target demographic would be those thirtysomething'ers seeking to relive the glory days, right?

Nope. And to be honest with you, I'm not sure who the hell they're singing to/for. The first single called "Single," goes a little something like this:

"It don’t matter cuz ur here now
and the music ur enjoyin’
So for the next couple minutes
Baby i’mma be ur boyfriend

"Pretty mama if ur single…single
(u dont gotta be alone tonite)
NE-YO: so while the dj play this single…single
(just pretend that i’m ur man tonite)"

Okay. Just two things: Not sure that "I'mm be ur boyfriend" is going to do much for a woman in her '30s. And if they're singing to a much younger crowd--somehow selectively forgetting that they've aged 20 years--is kinda weird.

And all of this is based on hearing the first single of their upcoming full length LP. Can't wait to hear what the rest of the album has to offer with such enticing song titles like "Sexify My Love," "Put It on My Tab" and "Officially Over." If they would have sang "D*ck in a Box," at least that would have been funny.

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