Has-Beens on the (Old) Block

I'm the first to preach that music writers should leave the auditory art form to the ears of the beholder and simply provide context, but what the old, newly reunited New Kids on the Block are offering up is just too good to pass up

Now look, I'm a two-song (max) closet Kids sympathizer. I want them to succeed as much as the next thirtysomething gal who was teenboppin' back in the Kids' heyday. But the stunt they're pulling is just... Well, what's the technical term? Oh yeah, ick!

So here we are in 2008. The Kids are back together and all growns up. Their girlie-girl demographic who were weezing, crying, screeching for them are all pushing 30 now. It would seem that their target demographic would be those thirtysomething'ers seeking to relive the glory days, right?

Nope. And to be honest with you, I'm not sure who the hell they're singing to/for. The first single called "Single," goes a little something like this:

"It don’t matter cuz ur here now
and the music ur enjoyin’
So for the next couple minutes
Baby i’mma be ur boyfriend

"Pretty mama if ur single…single
(u dont gotta be alone tonite)
NE-YO: so while the dj play this single…single
(just pretend that i’m ur man tonite)"

Okay. Just two things: Not sure that "I'mm be ur boyfriend" is going to do much for a woman in her '30s. And if they're singing to a much younger crowd--somehow selectively forgetting that they've aged 20 years--is kinda weird.

And all of this is based on hearing the first single of their upcoming full length LP. Can't wait to hear what the rest of the album has to offer with such enticing song titles like "Sexify My Love," "Put It on My Tab" and "Officially Over." If they would have sang "D*ck in a Box," at least that would have been funny.

Hot Hot Heat Want Their Rip-Off Back

So the much buzzed about Black Kids, who are not all black by the way, do a pretty good job of ripping off the Cure. I mean that as a compliment. Just listen to "I'm Making Eyes at You" and tell me that puppy's arrangements aren't the Cure (c. Head on The Door) freshly cloned? That particular Cure line-up and sound is not a bad version of the Cure to clone at all. But then it struck me: it's not the Cure that the Black Kids--purposely or not--are ripping off. The Black Kids are ripping off Hot Hot Heat's Cure rip off. Just for s-n-g's I threw a few Hot Hot Heat songs and a couple of Black Kids songs into a playlist and hit shuffle. The resemblance from lead vocals to arrangements was plagiaristically stunning. I wonder if the Kids realize this? In my heart of hearts, I don't have a problem with this. I rather have 100 Cure knock-off bands that some of the garbage making waves recently. Just a thought.

Speaking of the devil... This just in: "Perfect As Cats: A Tribute to the Cure" will be released on Oct. 28. Here's the track list:

Tracklist For Perfect As Cats: A Tribute To The Cure:

Disc 1
01. Fascination Street - Xu Xu Fang
02. A Forest - Bat For Lashes
03. Killing An Arab - Hecuba
04. The Caterpillar - Astrid Quay (of Winter Flowers)
05. The Walk - Indian Jewelry
06. Six Different Ways - Rainbow Arabia
07. Why Can't I Be You? - We Are The World
08. In Between Days - Blackblack
09. Pictures of You - Rio en Medio
10. Fire In Cairo - Gangi
11. Kyoto Song - Joker's Daughter
12. 10.15 Saturday Night - Aquaserge (with Laure Briard)
13. Grinding Halt - The Muslims
14. M - Voyager One
15. The Hanging Garden - Ex-Reverie
16. The Drowning Man - Caroline Weeks (of Bat For Lashes)
17. All Cats Are Gray - Devastations

Disc 2
01. Primary - Dandy Warhols
02. The Upstairs Room - Veil Veil Vanish
03. Charlotte Sometimes - Wolkfin (ex-Junior Senior)
04. Jumping Someone Else's Train - Army Navy
05. A Strange Day - Ich Bin Aiko
06. The Exploding Boy - Lemon Sun
07. The Kiss - Corridor
08. The Love Cats - Katrine Ottosen (CALLmeKAT)
09. A Night Like This - Silver Summit
10. Love Song - Mariee Sioux
11. Close To Me - Kaki King
12. Sugar Girl - Buddy
13. Hot Hot Hot! - Les Bicyclettes Blanches
14. Let's Go To Bed - Tara Busch
15. The Funeral Party - Jesu
16. Three Imaginary Boys - Sarabeth Tucek
17. Disintegration - Lewis And Clarke

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